What does it mean to be a psychotherapist? What does it mean to be a psychologist? What is trauma, and how do I know if all of these techniques and investments will return to me? These were the same questions that I found myself pondering before embarking on my journey into psychotherapy, both as a practitioner and as a recipient of its healing.
How long does it take to get better? What is the most efficient way of healing oneself? Now, let me tell you something. No one can answer these questions definitively; anyone who claims otherwise is being disingenuous. Yes, I can be that blunt and call it a lie, because the path to healing is so subjective and individualized that no one can accurately predict how your journey will unfold.
As a trainee psychotherapist, I engaged in group work and one-on-one therapy sessions. Yet, despite the hours of intense effort, I felt detached, as if the discussions were taking place in a realm far removed from my reality. How dissociated was I? Let me tell you, it was profound. There were moments when I contemplated giving up, thinking, 'Is this it? Is this all there is?' Coming from a background rooted in science, psychotherapy initially seemed like a departure into the realm of spirituality. Little did I know then that it could be whatever I chose to make of it. But how does one shape something as nebulous as healing? Was I rigid in my perspective? Well, consider how I approached life outside the therapy room.
Funny, isn't it? Despite seeking freedom and striving not to become too attached in my daily life, I found myself bound by invisible constraints. However, through the workshops, personal therapy sessions, and hours of personal development, I began to shift. What once felt cold and distant began to resonate with my own experiences, bringing me closer to an authentic understanding of myself. What an honor it was to finally encounter myself! Though it took far too long to do so.
It was easier to present a facade than to confront the raw authenticity of my being – impatient, fiery, and all. Only later did I realize that we harbor multitudes within us, each emerging depending on the circumstances we face. Understanding this was transformative; it allowed me to embrace all facets of myself, even those that no longer served me.
Again, I didn't comprehend this at the time. It was all part of my journey. Yours will undoubtedly be different, as will those of the people around you. All I can say is summon the courage to embrace the magnificent person you are, for I assure you, it is truly worth it.
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